Take a look around. Every person you see has experienced some form of loss, and likely will again. The death of a loved one, the ending of a relationship, a new period of life, or the loss of a career position are all experiences where grief presents itself.

An interesting thing about grief- because it’s taboo to talk about- is we tend to feel like the only one. Therapist Sarah Rather, M.Ed., NCC wants you to know that grief doesn’t need to be a scary word- let’s embrace it! Joining a grief group can provide the skills needed to healthily work through and make grief more bearable, and is the safe space needed to remind you that your feelings and experiences are valid and important. You are not alone on this journey.

We seem to typically only use the word “grief” to mourning a death. However, ambiguous grief is not uncommon and can be discouraging to experience. Sometimes you may feel the effects of grief and not even know why! That does not mean your experience of grief is any less valid, and a grief group can be just the thing to help.

For people who have experienced a job loss, a change of career paths, a loss of a relationship, a loved one, or a pet, even if it was a long time ago- grief can be something that when held in becomes toxic and debilitating in seemingly unrelated areas of our lives.

Group leader Sarah Rather explains there are various ways that grief can show up in our daily lives. People experience nervous system responses, like your heart rate speeding up or feeling a “fight or flight” response. Especially during the holidays, grief can appear when we least expect (and need) it. Unresolved grief can be the source of sleep problems, anxiety, fatigue, health issues, and the feeling of being continually stressed out.

Our nervous system is divided into the sympathetic and the parasympathetic which regulate things like metabolism, digestion, and respiration. This keeps our bodies in homeostasis, and also is what prepares our body for “fight or flight” mode (thank you, sympathetic nervous system.) When you are never at rest, and are stuck in fight or flight mode, your parasympathetic nervous system cannot do its job of regulating your body. When we have unresolved grief, our entire system is affected.

No matter how small or large you may feel your grief is, it is having an effect, and a grief group is the next step to bringing your body back to equilibrium. The fact that people grieve differently is a beautiful thing. Some people use altars, have remembrance ceremonies, or visit grave-sites. Others may look through old photos, do something that is a reminder of a loved one, or even just take a moment to think about the experiences with that person or time of life.

No matter how you grieve, you are not alone in your journey. There are others who are in the same boat, and together you will heal and find the tools to help you reach your highest level of well-being.